This blog has taken me a while to think about and complete and so I’m sorry for the delay but it was something I really wanted to touch upon. And having just dropped out of college I couldn’t think of a better time…
It’s safe to say I absolutely hated college, I don’t know if it’s because I decided to stay in the same ‘small town’ high school I attended in my village for another 2 years, the people, the teachers, the way things worked. I just wasn’t happy. leading to all kinds of things such as anxiety and depression I had to get out…
But I wasn’t sure what I could do with myself after making this bold decision.
The stigma around BTEC courses had me thrown. All sorts of thing were going through my head, I had dropped out too late to have a fresh start at a new college, with fresh faces and brand new courses and when I thought of taking a BTEC course I had an overwhelming feeling that I just wasn’t capable of A-levels. I am not dumb. Having achieved 11 GCSE’s A*-C and getting all 3 AS levels before I dropped out I know now that I am capable and smart but I just don’t like how things are run.
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks meaning that exams have never been my thing, I’m more of a coursework kinda gal and the thought of all the exams I would have had to take next year worried me. a lot. especially with the reformed A-levels, meaning that instead of achieving two separate grades (an AS and an A-level) all the content that was previously split into two exams over two years has been put into one. To give you an idea of how intense this change was: In English Lit instead of studying 3 books and 30 poems for year one and the same repeated for year two, we had to remember 6 books and 60 poems, for one years exams! That’s a LOT to remember.
I think it’s wrong how your ability to succeed in life is based on an exam that can last as little as 45 mins. The amount of times, I have remembered an answer 5 minutes after your times up. Or the amount of times I have achieved high grades in mocks and coursework just to flunk the real thing and be told that I am not good enough.
“Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid.” – Albert Einstein.
So before you worry that being ‘bad’ at exams and at ‘school’ means that you’re dumb or stupid or incapable, you are not! Everybody is unique and different, and we are all good at something even if you can’t think of something you are particularly good at, others will notice where you shine best and soon you will realize too.
Shop my outfit:
Dungarees: blitz london
top: CheapMonday
rings: Sammy Dress
shoes: Converse
socks: Primark
coat(puffa) : Blitz london
glasses: Depop
Thanks for reading lovelies, I think I’ll be bald by the time I next write a blog post so say goodbye to ma wild hair…
Molly xx